The Dark Knight Rises Trailer Analysis
20 Aug 2012
‘Bats are ROCKturnal!’ – Christian Bale, Batman Begins, 2005There’s a new trailer.
It’s right here.
We’ve all seen it.
We’ve all had to wipe the drool from our keyboards.
Now let’s get to work!
It all seems very sad. You know it’s sad ‘coz of the music, see? You’d swear this was a film about some class of unhinged vigilante sociopath who witnessed his parents murdered in front of him at a young age... or something...
Every ones looks shifty and nervous. But like yer wan from the Princess Diaries notes “there’s a storm coming.”
Plus, that guy is wearing a mask! And commands Air-Ninjas apparently, who can hog-tie a jet in what is no doubt, a spectacularly dangerous stunt... And there it is. Now, I’m no expert on aerodynamics. But what? Like, what?
“What are you?” asks some guy who looks a bit like Bruce Wayne. But probably isn’t. But still might be.
“I’m Gotham’s reckoning” replies the jerk in the mask, his speech far more audible than previously. To celebrate this newfound clarity, he blows shit up.JGL (Google it!) looks sad on a bridge. But in his defence, Gotham bridges have developed the nasty habit of spontaneously collapsing. Are the people of Gotham trapped inside with this beefy Darth Vader?
Well, those kids look scared. Stoopid kids.
“Did they kill him?” JGL asks Princess Diaries, presumably referring to the aforementioned sociopath. She doesn’t know. The casual viewer suspects not. But that the goddamn Batman, a paragon of intelligence and juggernaut of physicality has somehow been kidnapped seems not only confirmed. But breezily skimmed over!
Is Bane just better than Bats now? Are we ignoring the fact the past 7 years and two films painted the picture of an unconquerable hero? A beast who waged a one man war on both the Mafia and Russian Mob. A lunatic who encouraged his foe to send FOUR highly-trained, sword-wielding assassins against him, because TWO was a freakin’ insult!
This is just like when the Spineosaurus killed the T-Rex in Jurassic Park III all over again.
“You’re punishment must be more severe!”
I can’t actually tell if Beefy Vader is talking to me or the beaten, broken Bruce Wayne at this point. Seriously, that’s a pretty significant device to reveal, let alone brush past.
Didn’t Batman punch an 18 wheeler so hard it flipped in last movie?? That’s how I remember it anyway!
“Do you think he’s coming back?” Stoopid Kid asks as Beefy Vader parades about Wayne Manor’s underground, looking beefy. I suspect so kid. It’s not called the f*cking Dark Knight Loses!
“I’ve buried enough members of the Wayne family” Alfie complains, forgetting that’s part of his job description. Nothing worse than when the Help start to get uppity.
Bat-Sociopath and Beefy Vader brawl in the dark. The latter lands a jumping punch. It’s like a regular punch. But jumping.
Hopefully, considering both actors are padded in Kevlar and wearing protective headwear, the fights will be lengthy, brutal and not edited into an indiscernible mess.
That said, this is a Nolan movie.
“Meeooow” replies Princess Diaries, to my needlessly bitchy remark.
Oh, there’s also the subtle indication that Bats will give his life for the people of Gotham. As subtle as remarks from a man beneath 50lbs of bat-shaped armour, rasping like chain-smoking hell fiend can be mind...
There are also tasty shots of a camouflaged tumbler, the bat-pod zipping through traffic, an armoured truck shrugging off incendiary detonations and some poor sod/lucky devil getting Princess Diaries leg wrapped around his head!
“This isn’t a car!” the Bat corrects, as his manned aerial drone pirouettes, dodging missile fire atop Gotham’s towering skyline.
And that’s the gist of the Final Theatrical trailer for the concluding chapter to Christopher Nolan’s commercially and critically worshipped Dark Knight Trilogy.
Besides the fact we’re expected to take for granted some major revelations and spoilers, it’s shaping up nicely. All the ingredients for another cool billion are there:
dark, choppy action scenes,JGL’s handsome man face,
In all seriousness though, I am genuinely excited. Nolan teases with the promise of another thoughtful, pragmatic, fashionable interpretation of contemporary legend and is likely to do so with a dexterity and expertise countless directors only dream of.
I’m just a bit disappointed we didn’t get to see Batman use his Heat Vision or Fire Breath even once! And THAT'S how I reacted!